“GAMETIME OH YEAH” “TAILGATE OH YEAH”
“I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN WIN. I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN WIN”
“GAMETIME OH YEAH” “TAILGATE TIME OH YEAH”
Iz was a little “upset” when our weekend of fun kicked off with tums and bedtime at 10:15 thanks to the Shakespeare’s pizza incident.
How does he “repay” us? He screams at 15 minute intervals starting at 4:00 am.
What happened from 7:45-2:30 is really irrelevant in my opinion. “Football” was played, beers were had. The end.
Since we were all reunited, (and to give Columbia one last chance to win us over with decent food) we felt it was only appropriate to go out in something other than a hoodie and treat ourselves to a fancy steakhouse dinner to celebrate a good weekend.
We’re not talking about going to Ponderosa, people. This was a really nice place. They actually turn people away after a certain time because the wait gets so long. Lucky for us, we made it in the exclusive steakhouse. So this was our opportunity to really put on our classy pants and have a good meal.
Until the wine happened.
It wasn’t until Izzy was singing into his wine glass, and then the subsequent “toasting” with the lobster meat that I realized we probably belonged at Ponderosa. It was shameful. In vino veritas is clearly an accurate statement because at dinner, I think I asked TK if he was an accident. Oops.
This night, Izzy would be the one who turned in at 10:30.
The next morning, of course we had to go out the old tradition of Sunday Funday. Breakfast at Lulu’s or Lucy’s or whatever was great. Although I’m not sure I trust a restaurant that charges 25 cents extra for “crispy” hash browns, it was fine. Sleeping on TK’s adoptive grandmother’s bed (who he claims didn’t die in the house but I think we all know better) did a number on my lumbar region. After pleading, they took me to Wal Mart for mentholated back patches (which normally I buy in bulk at www.imgettingold.com , but didn’t happen to have my back up supply with me)
As we completely backed out of the parking space to go home, there was an obvious “crunch” coming from the back passenger side, right where Bobby was sitting. Good thing we updated his beneficiaries last week.
Shit.
As we got out of the car, a 60 something year old lady got out, clearly shaken by the whole incident.
“I’m sorry, normally I pull through so I don’t have to back up”
TK gets his insurance information out and his business card (ha ha) to give her the information.
“I’m just going to call my husband to make sure that I get all of the right information”
We are all standing around the cars, realizing the little Honda CRV took most of the beating. And then, she had the audacity to say this:
“I don’t want to scare you boys, but my husband is a judge”
First off, Ma’am, I realize that we’re all wearing sweats, we look like punk, homeless college kids and I’m in an owl trapper hat and sparkly Sperry’s, but you threaten my friends with a statement like that, then you threaten me.
“Yeah, well, they’re doctors” (true, even though TK is a Pharm D)
Just because I didn’t go for a rigorous curriculum, I felt I should be recognized too, so I added
“and I work in the disability insurance industry”
This would have been the opportune time to bring up the back ache, but I’m not that quick or witty.
Not sure why I thought those would be excellent retorts to her husband being a judge, but it really pissed me off. I got hot about it for a good hour.
After all was said and done, we drove home. Only to find that TK’s wallet was missing as we got into the garage. As we got back into the car to retrace the steps, we found the little lone wallet, on the corner of Broadway and itstimetogohome, completely intact. TK was so shaken; he forgot to take it off the roof as we drove away. Poor lil fella.
All is well that ends well, except for that CRV that has an indentation the size of a basketball in the back driver side. We all gave TK written statements in case this ended up in the hands of her circuit court judge husband.
It actually was kind of sad going home on Sunday. Izzy proposed marriage to TK so that they could get discounted medical benefits and we could all spend holidays together.
TK is thinking about it.
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