Forget sweetie, honey, pumpkin muffin. Most of our pet names revolve around feces. Or fecal matter. Why is that? Where did the rule come from that once you get married, it’s okay to talk about Poop on a regular basis? Not to mention, calling your significant other a name such as “poop brain”.
When my picture text notification goes off, and I see that it’s from Bobby, I cringe a little before I open it. I cautiously open it, worried that what I’m about to download will show me his biggest accomplishment for the day. Yep, romance is gone. We’re legally married now, and I have to love him, even if he forgets to flush the toilet.
Here are our favorite pet names we use on a daily basis.
*note, all of the poop prefixes can be interchanged with turd, for variety.
Poop nugget
Poop brain
Poop turdlet
Poop pickle
Pooooooopsicle
Poop tip
Poop prairie
Poop breath
Poop lips
Poop biscuit
On top of the poop nick names, we also have these true affectionate monikers:
Wench
Wenchilla
Wenchilla Factor
Clown
Clown wench
Snot Noser
Snot Brain
And because we’re both sick and stupid, we like to make up completely random songs and rhymes about our nick names. I’m not even going to bother trying to write/sing them for you. That’s something you can ask Bob about. He does have one song called “Clown” that only uses one word. Guess what word that is?
Guess we live in our own little world. I’m okay with that.
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